My parents are making us pay rent?
Question by IrishAngel: My parents are making us pay rent?
Based on other things I have read I may regret asking this but I figured I would anyway because I feel as though our situation is a bit different. A little over a year ago my boyfriend and I and his two kids (8 and 11) moved in with my parents. The apartment we were living in went into foreclosure because our landlords were using the rent money to go on trips instead of paying the mortgage. When we found out we were going to have to leave we tried buying a house. Due to our loan officer losing paperwork, forgetting to have us fill out paperwork and then getting laid off, everything got delayed so long we ended up losing the house and all the money we put into it. My parents waited until we had a week left to get out of our apartment before saying we could move in with them. We got two connected rooms upstairs. One room is used as our office, living room and kids’ bedroom. The other is our bedroom.
Unlike other questions I have read, we do not ask them for money in any way. Except for the very rare occasion that my mother makes dinner, we buy all of the food us and the kids eat. We buy all of our own necessities like soap, shampoo, laundry detergent, clothes etc. We also buy 95% of all the shared things like toilet paper, paper towels, milk etc. We have 4 cats and also pay for their food. We have one dog, they had 3 when we moved in and recently got a 4th. In the past year they have only bought 2 bags of dog food. We also pay for the gas and insurance on our vehicles. We do have our own washer and dryer. We brought them with us and bought the things we needed to hook them up but my mother would not allow us to so we share the use of hers. I get the use of it 3 days a week and she gets 4. We have our own phone line (we don’t get service on our cell phones at home) and cell phones, which we pay for.
The reasons we have been here so long are due to our many, MANY repairs we’ve had to do to our vehicles, vet visits (our dog cut open her tail and one of our cats died) and my boyfriend’s hours at work are not steady to say the least. His paychecks vary quite a bit. I cannot work due to medical reasons. Even though my boyfriend has full custody of one of his kids and we still have both of them at our house 3-4 days a week, he still has to pay $ 117/week to his ex. That takes a big chunk out of his paycheck every week.
Whenever there are repairs to be made around the house, if we have the money, we help pay for them. Between the months of September and January, we gave them $ 700 towards the electric and cable bills. We also voluntarily paid for the fuel oil for the heat over the winter. That cost us just under $ 1400.
Even after all that, they want us to pay half of the cable, electric and propane (what we use for hot water, the stove and the washer & dryer) bills. My mother refused to show us the bills and just wanted to tell us whatever half the amount of the bills were every month. We would not agree to that because she has a tendency to lie so we came up with an amount of $ 200/month. I feel as though we shouldn’t have to give them money every month considering how much we already do. Not to mention with giving them money every month now it is making it even harder to save up money to get back in our own place.
Part of what irritates me is that they say they can’t pay their bills and they’re behind on the cable or electric or whatever. But then they go out to garage sales and go on craigslist to buy antiques all the time. Plus they go out several times a week and buy food they don’t eat that usually goes bad and buy stuff they don’t need and don’t have room for. They also just bought ANOTHER motorcycle. It’s not really my business how they spend their money. However, when they’re spending their money like that and asking us for money because they can’t pay their bills, it becomes a problem for me.
So with all that, I’m asking what everyone’s opinion on us paying rent is. Thank you!
For those of you who are asking my we haven’t found our own place and moved out, I already said why. We have so much money going out that we can’t save up enough for first month’s rent and security. They keep on asking for more and more we can’t get ahead. I realize we would be paying more if we were out on our own. But that’s my whole point. We’re paying so much now we can’t get ahead enough to get out.
It’s not like we’re freeloading. We’re paying our own way except for rent. And we have given them money in the past as well as paying almost $ 1400 for heat over the winter.
And it has nothing to do with “encouraging us to become independent”, “getting our act together” or “becoming too comfortable”. We DO NOT want to be here. My mother is extremely hard to live with. We tried everything we possibly could to not have to move in here. We were living out on our own together for 4 years before we had to move here. It was a bad circumstance that made us have to move in. And
And my boyfriend is not a loser. He works as many hours as he possibly can. But when there is no work, he obviously can’t work now can he. I have tried to find an online job myself but it is almost impossible.
And for those of you who are telling us to get rid of our pets, you have obviously never owned any. And 3 of cats were my mother’s that she talked us into taking because she didn’t want them. Not to mention they aren’t paying to take care of our pets in any way. And BY THE WAY, they have NINE cats already!! That my mother expects me to make sure they have food and water instead of her doing it.
Best answer:
Answer by worrier
My honest opinion is that you should be paying part of the rent and utilities. No matter if you have offered to help out with other things. Bringing in 4 people, plus pets, no matter if you pay for your own things is still a burden. I understand your situation more than you will probably think too. Due to a lot of things we have had to move in with family and save for a house and help with everything else, yet I still willingly pay our part of the rent. It is not only fair it is respectful. You can’t place blame on everyone else saying this isn’t fair, etc, you must pay your own way in life and not expect to rely on others, Another thing is that you mentioned what they spend their money on, that is their choice. It is their house you are living in, not the other way around.
Good luck.
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Comments
$ 200 a month rent for 4 people is a reasonable amount to pay. Your mortgage payment would not be nearly that low, AND you would still be paying electricity and cable yourself. If even $ 200 is hard for you, then you must consider the fact that the mortgage on the house fell thru a blessing since at this point THOSE bills would have well exceeded what you have paid. At this point you should have been able to save a sizable down payment to either move to another rental or down payment on a house.
I would EXPECT an adult child who moved in with me with his family to be paying rent if they stayed more than a month.
I am appalled that you don’t think that you should have to pay the modest amount of rent that they are requiring. They are losing use of part of the home they are paying or have paid for. They are paying taxes, maintaining it and absorbing the costs of the additional wear and tear that 4 extra bodies (and several animals) in a home cause.
As a side not, they are not their bills, they are your bills. There are 2 of them and 4 of your. Do the math, 4 people use more electricity, more water, eat more food, use more gas. You should be paying a greater portion of the bills, you should be paying rent and whether or not your parents have the money to afford certain luxuries they worked for is irrelevant.
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Get over yourself. They did you a HUGE favor by letting you come back home, bringing your husband, kids, and pets along for the ride. If you can afford it you should be paying not only for the utilities but the floor space you’re taking up that they thought they finally had to themselves. And what they do or don’t do with their own money is their own business.
So you, your boyfriend and his kids live at your parents’ house, and you are somehow aggravated they make you pay rent?
What they do with the money is irrelevant, why they SAY they need the money is irrelevant. What IS relevant, is that your family is taking up space in their house, using their utilities, etc. You don’t really expect to just freeload do you? Be an adult for criminy’s sake.
Can you find an apartment for $ 200 a month? No? So instead of whining, why don’t you appreciate the fact that you have a goo deal going and that your parents are nice enough to allow you to f up their lifestyle.
Lady, you deserve a medal for stupidity!!!
First of all, you move your boyfriend (who has no legal bond with you) and his two kids into YOUR parents’ home and take up over 50% of their space. That is 4 additional people. Your parents are only 2 persons.
You are an adult, your parents are NOT responsible for YOUR support. Your boyfriend and his kids are no relations to your parents. They ARE NOT responsible for their well being.
All your other jibberish just shows how stupid you and your boyfriend are. If you were a member of my family, you and your hangers on would be knocking on the door down at the Salvation Army Homeless Shelter.
You are right. It is none of your business how your parents spend their money. If the four of you weren’t there, their bills would be a lot less. Trust me.
Online job (ha, ha, ha, ha). If you really don’t want a job, do you?
Get a grip!!
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